nANIMOv

Regarding my last post, I’ve been thinking about my phone use a lot lately. Most of the time I am just clicking and scrolling on my phone for the sake of doing something with my fingers. It’s become so automatic now that I often don’t even realize I’ve opened an app until I see the pictures and headlines flash in front of my eyes.

I’ve started deleting the most blatant culprits of useless finger diddle, though now I see more obviously my fingers just aimlessly swiping back and forth between my menus looking for something to click. Once I notice I try to put it down.

I don’t really have a direction for what I’m going to write about today, but I think I will try to write something everyday. I want to challenge myself to commit to doing things. It’s easy to commit to my job or to my classes and whatnot because they have direct consequences/ rewards (ol’ operant conditioning rearing its ugly head). Doing something like this or exercising regularly or practicing a skill all have no clear or tangible consequence, at least for the examples I’ve been thinking of.

This makes me think of a TED talk I watched recently, I think it was about addiction or procrastination, can’t quite remember. One of the speakers main point was to get curious about your own problems, to ask yourself, “Why am I doing [insert bad habit]?” I guess this relates to the above in that I often find myself avoiding doing the things I big-picturely want to be doing or ought to be doing by doing things that offer more immediate/ tangible outcomes.

Trying this out again, this time on a different platform. Though I’m not writing for anyone in particular; I’m just trying to create an outlet for myself to just let my mind flow.

It’s nice to release the pressure valve you know? Not because I think I’m a genius and I have a bazillion amazing ideas bouncing around in my head all the time, but because there are some ideas I have during the day that I would like to revisit and hopefully this will help de-clutter my mind and filter out all the shitty ideas (assuming not all of them are).

But I guess this is also away for me to talk to myself; to get idea out of my head to I can read them out loud and/ or at another time in a different state of mind. Now that I think of it I should really go back and read some of my old essay assignments for my classes and see how my writing holds up.

That’s it for now, I wanna try to keep each post relatively short so I don’t bore future self and long posts are bitch to proofread.