Surgery – Day 9

Being a non-native English speaker undergoing surgery in a predominantly English-speaking hospital must be scary, even more so than any other hospitalization. You are undergoing a major invasive procedure and you can’t even properly communicate with the person who is going to be cutting into you. Even though interpreter services are available, as good as they are I’m sure there are things that get lost in translation or simply omitted, and there is no way for the physician to verify or clarify since there is no way for them to know if a mistranslation occurred. On top of that, working through interpreter services makes a patient encounter take double the time as it is so there is some pressure, even if subconscious, to not be as thorough or comprehensive as one would be in a language concordant interaction.

Today in clinic I was using a Spanish interpreter and on several occasions the interpreter simply left out parts of what I was saying (based on my limited Spanish). I’m not sure if it was for clarity sake, or succinctness, but I think part of the art of medicine is carefully choosing your words and how you relay information to patients.

The solution is simple, physician need to learn the languages of their patients, but that is not super practical. Not sure what the solution, but I just imagine it’s a bit scary having doctors examining your belly and talking about you in front of you without you really understand what is being said.

Surgery – Day 8

Sundays in surgery I really feel bad for the residents. At least on the service I’m on, the third year does a 24 hour shift and they are by themselves with no intern or other resident to help them. They will sometimes have at least 1 medical student, but sadly the help that we actually provide is probably minimal. Yet I am impressed by the resolve and attitude of the 3rd years I’ve worked with, that despite the occasional complaints or exasperated sighs, they seem to be keeping it together and able to work with a relatively positive attitude (perhaps relative to what might be expected).

Today felt like a lot of getting to understand bit more about the structure of residency and glimpsing the mind of a seasoned resident in day-to-day action. I’ll do my best to soak up what I can from these last few days on the service.

Intention

Just to build off of yesterday’s reflection, setting very specific and defined tasks work for certain bigger picture, but maybe aren’t so good for others. As an example, part of this months challenge is to play through a piano piece I’ve been working on twice everyday. Going through this process I have been playing the piano more, but I’m not sure if I’ve been getting any better at playing this piece. I still make a lot of mistakes, or I’ll make new mistakes that I hadn’t made since first learning it. I think part of it is I’m not practicing with intention; I’m practicing to get through and over with it. I don’t take the time to work through spots that are giving me trouble and reinforce proper form and stuff.

Going

The one thing that is hard about goals is that sometimes at get so focused on outcomes that I forget what it’s all for. As cheesy as it sounds, it becomes all about the destination, rather than the journey. At the same time if I cut myself too much slack and say I always gotta slow down and enjoy the journey then I may not get where I’m tryna go and that is a potential source of distress in itself. It’s ok to be goal and outcome oriented, but just got to remember that the small things are important too.

Jambalaya

Sometimes I just feel very thankful for all the people who have been a part of my life, past and present. Every interaction I’ve had throughout my life big or small, has probably left at least a small mark on who I am today. Every conversation, every exchange of words or of glances is data that get processed and applied into my decision making whether I’m conscious of it or not. At least, it’s kinda romantic to think that that’s the case, I actually have no idea.

Surgery – Day 7

I got to see a kidney transplant today. Truly one of the most amazing things I’ve seen in medical school so far, maybe after delivery of a human baby. The transplant surgery was everything I imagine when I think of surgery. High precision, high stakes, anatomical engineering. We took a kidney procured from a deceased person off ice, hooked up all the plumbing (artery, vein, ureter) to appropriate, but not identical vessels in the body of a totally different person, in a place that was not originally intended to house a kidney, let the blood of this person flow into it, and all of a sudden this kidney, that was once in a pale stasis, is all of a sudden red with life and a pulse that is in sync with it’s new owner.

Also all the surgeons I worked with today were super nice, and they aren’t even on my service. The 1st year fellow who had the misfortune of having to close the patient with me was very patient in helping me with my suturing, guiding me and letting me take my time instead of rushing me or just taking over.

Also I saw a robotic surgery today (liver resection). The technology is super cool and it was very sci-fi to watch these weird arm things plugged into someone’s belly, manipulating things inside. Also the thing that the surgeons look through allow them to see inside the person abdomen in 3D which was also amazing. But being a bystander to the surgery was pretty boring. Just basically watching organs get manipulated and cut and pinched and burned for the time equivalent of viewing the Return of the King extended edition.

Surgery – Day 6

I really like my team right now. This week we got a new chief resident (4th year) and a new senior (3rd year) resident. They are both so nice and so chill, and perhaps most importantly they set clear expectations and act like they want us to learn and be part of the team. I don’t blame the previous ones at all for not really engaging with us. I imagine the life of a surgery resident is super tough and having to deal with medical students is just another thing to manage on top of everything else, but I guess that’s why it means a lot when residents take time to engage with us (and in fairness our prior residents did, it was just harder).

The team around you makes such a difference in your experience. Because I like my team currently, I’m kinda looking forward to going in tomorrow. That is how it was on Internal Medicine. The hours were long and I had to wake up at the wee hours of the morning, but I kinda looked forward to getting to spend time with the team and learn.

Hopefully this keeps up.

Surgery – Day 5

It was a long day today. Not only because of hospital/ clinic work but other commitments, but having to get up at 5 am certainly doesn’t help. Rounds started a little earlier today with our new chief resident and then we went to clinic later with the attending (we were late because the schedule we were given was wrong). It was nice to be back in the clinic though. It being a surgery clinic, there were some pretty heavy conversations had. In some ways, it feels wrong for me to be there in these important moments, as a spectator/ medical student. Another part of me feels lucky to be able to be present in those moments. If I did go into surgery, I can see clinic being something I enjoy. Our attending also did a lot of patient education which I thought was nice, especially since the image of surgeons can often be kind of cold and fast paced. But I am very sleepy so that is all for now.

Surgery – Day 4

Today was my first weekend shift on surgery. There were no procedures, so today was just rounding on the patients who were already in the hospital or got admitted yesterday. Compared to internal medicine, handoff in surgery seems very inefficient and almost haphazard, but it also feels like there are less issues being tracked, but those issues may be slightly more volatile. The resident I worked with today is supposed to stay at the hospital until tomorrow morning. Part of me is confused as to why. Why does someone have to be on call for 24+ hours. Is it a continuity thing? Based on what I’ve seen, it’s not like being around the first half of the day makes you any better suited to care for a patient overnight than someone coming in fresh who received a strong sign-out. It almost feels like one of those archaic practices that is held on to as a source of pride, like “look at me able to withstand a 28-hour shift.” But also what do I know, I’m literally talking out of my ass. Maybe it is better for physician wellness. Maybe it is better for patient care. I bet there’s gotta be some studies out their pointing one way or the other.

Our Kids Should be Watching Anime

Yesterday during Grand Rounds, the speaker was talking about growth mindset vs fixed mindset. At this point the concept of these mindset have been beaten to death in academic and professional development lectures and the like. Today though, I was thinking about how exposure during childhood can orient us toward one mindset over the other. Not to brag, but I feel like I’ve always had kinda a growth mindset, and I feel like watching shows like Pokémon growing up were big in fostering that. This idea of being being kinda shitty at something, but slowly getting better through hard work is a common theme throughout anime and sets up good example for kids in overcoming obstacle and pushing through adversity.

Then I thought about more western programming. Maybe I have selective memory now that I’m thinking about it in order to prove a point, but a lot of the American TV watched growing up was built more around fixed characters and archetypes. The stories were more situational than progressive. Characters personalities were fixed, and you knew what to expect out of them; how they would behave and how they would react to different situations which made for good TV for kids in its on way, but not in a way they sets up kids to be growth mindset oriented.

All I’m trying to say is anime is good for kids.