Existential Crisis

I recently found out my entire existence up to this point has potentially been a lie. As long as I could remember, I lived believing I was a Sagittarius. All the basic astrology sites and calendars I’ve used told me November 22, 1995, the Sun was in Sag. Turns out at 7:00 AM that day, it was still in Scorpio. Every horoscope I’ve read, every personality reading rendered based on my birth chart, became a complete and utter farce. The thought had crossed my mind before since my birthday is right on the cusp and some astrological calendars consider Nov 22 to be in Scorpio depending on the year. But this was the first time I actually went through the trouble of confirming (as far as I could recall).

As I was planning out all the changes I would need to make to my personality, wardrobe, lifestyle choices, etc. I thought I’d better double check the time of my birth with Mother. I immediately called her with an urgency befitting the situation. She didn’t pick up, so naturally I called 3 more times before I decided to give it a rest for the time being.

Eventually, she called me back and confirmed that I was in fact born at 7:00… PM. So crises everted and the world will be ok. I moved all my bedroom decorations back to the way they were earlier that morning and canceled my appointment with the tattoo artist.

Neurology – Day 5

I was told several times today by patients that my Spanish sounded good. Part of that could be just because I always start this interview in Spanish with and introduction and do some simple history taking before explaining to them that my Spanish is actually not very good and that I will need to call a translator. Is this kinda fishing? Maybe, but also if I call the translator right in the beginning then I am missing and opportunity to practice my Spanish, and ultimately I verify everything to make sure patient care isn’t being compromised. Plus the positive affirmation is encouraging for me to continue practicing.

Anyways being back in this community clinic setting is reminding me how much I enjoy outpatient medicine. Neurology is growing me a bit, the puzzley aspect of it can be fun sometimes, but also much of the rest of medicine is pretty puzzley.

Neurology – Day 4

It can be hard being constantly confronted with the massive gap between where I am at and where I feel like I should be. That sad I do feel like I am making progress each day, even if small. Over the few days I’ve been able to go into clinic I definitely have had many opportunities to practice my Spanish and slowly I am feeling more comfortable with basic conversation.

I need to work on just being more comfortable with some material so I thinking about localization and stuff is just second nature. This is going to involve just making a lot of mental connection between things.

Neurology – Day 3

I found out that my attending is friends with my uncle. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that my attending knows that. Today one lady accused me of curing her tremors with my presence. The clinic was otherwise pretty standard, the usual Alzheimer’s, neuropathies, seizures. Been getting a lot of Spanish practice which has been nice, definitely getting more comfortable.

Neurology – Day 2

Still not sure how I feel about the pace of the clinic. On one hand things move fast, and the day goes by fast and it kinda feels efficient, and I the volume of patients and number of students spreads out some of the pressure, especially since we don’t even really present. On the other hand, sometimes I feel like the patients need more time, if nothing else to express their concerns in general. But maybe that’s the ~beauty~ of specialty work, you don’t really concern yourself with problems that aren’t related to your specialty, you just kinda hope they have good primary care.

Neurology – Day 1

It was my first full day in the clinic and there were 5 of us students total. It’s a busy clinic so it actually wasn’t terrible; I don’t feel like any one of us was just sitting around the whole time. In terms of what I am seeing in the clinic, it’s about what I expected. A lot of strokes, carpal tunnel, Parkinson, seizures, headaches. Mostly pretty straightforward stuff and the attending moves very quickly. Whether its a new consult or a returning patient, he typically doesn’t spend longer than 5 minutes in the room.

Lunch was provided by a drug rep today and all us med students sat with the attending for lunch. We had a pretty interesting conversation about how to “survive” after medical school. He was giving us all these tips about maximizing our deductibles and stuff.

Neurology seems like a decent lifestyle. Pretty predictable work, good clinic hours, possibility of inpatient work. I’m just not sure yet if I like the medicine, but I haven’t ruled it out yet.

Neurology – Day 0

Today was the first day of neurology. The morning was jus orientation and some review lectures and then I was told to go to clinic in the afternoon. I switched into this rotation a little late so I missed some emails with info from before, but mostly I was brought up to date. Originally I was primarily supposed to work back at the county hospital, but last minute they switched me to be primarily at a site in Downey which is close to where I’m living which I thought would be a good deal because I would have lighter commute. I was told to go in after lecture at 1330. I got to the clinic and there were already 3 other medical students working there with the attending I was assigned, and that isn’t even counting the 3 other 4th year USC medical students who are supposed to be working there, but were apparently told not to come in today and have their first day on tomorrow. The clinic seemed a bit hectic and fast paced. I got to see one patient, and the expectations for presentation weren’t well laid out, but probably partially due to the fact that I came in mid day. I got to meet the other students, and sounds like I may not have to come in every day. This will definitely be an interesting experience, logistically.

Dried Out

The snake plant in my room as looking pretty dried out. It’s a hearty plants and it’s still green, but it just looks a little more wrinkly than it did before. I tried to give it some water yesterday, but it still looks a but dry. It prob needs more than the little trickle of leftover water I gave it. I haven’t been taking the best care of it, but thank goodness for it’s resilience.

Acceptable

Different people have different standards for what they are are willing to accept for themselves. And those standards can change over time and depending on specific circumstances. Sometimes things that seem like the end of the world at one point seem pretty insignificant in another. If at any point something seems insignificant, does that mean it ever was actually that important? We should be constantly asking ourselves what we are willing to accept for ourselves, and what things are trivialities(?) in the bigger picture.

3TITF
(1) People watching
(2) Christmas markets with local vendors
(3) Shared retail/vendor spaces

Surgery – Day 24

Last day of surgery, and it was a call day. Thankfully it was only a day call, and actually our residents let us leave early. Overall I’m glad to have had this experience. Surgery is really its own world. Honestly if the school was less and the lifestyle was better I would definitely consider surgery, but that time is necessary to become a good surgeon. There are a lot of other things I want to do with my life which is evidenced by my performance not always befitting a future surgeon. It’s not over though, I still have my exams, but we’re almost to vacation.

3TITF
(1) People who decide to make lifestyle changes when they are already older.
(2) Quinoa salads.
(3) Vests.