Author: nanimov

What makes something good? What makes another thing bad? Are there such things? It depends on what you believe. If you believe in the existence of something outside of physical existence, there is a possibility there for some form of absolute “goodness.” If you don’t, it’s hard to make a case against complete relativism.

From my understanding, the apparent facts and evidence seem to say there is little to no indication that anything exists outside of existence. But, that is also kind of the nature of extra-existential forces; you can never prove they exist.

However, just because I believe that if we zoom way outside ourselves and our communities that good and evil is relative, still maintain my own beliefs as to what is good and evil. The source of that morality is my own feelings and emotions, which stem from a combination of my genetic/ human nature and my experiences. I admit that my morality is completely relative, but many aspects of it are shared by billions. Not to mention, from an economics perspective, it would be better to assume, and live as if there is heaven and hell.

All this being said I feel like there is a statistical objectivity to what societies determine to be good and evil. Many moral codes/ laws/ whatever they may be didn’t pop out of thin air. The undergo trial and error, and evolution of sorts in which they are subject to their own form of natural selection. The ideas that are conducive to self-propagation survived and are passed, on while others die off. And with that you can make all sorts of comparisons to biology and life and what is life etc. Everything that occurs in living things is the result of stochastic/ random processes, and yet those random molecule collisions somehow resulted in life and consciousness because of the inherent favorability of certain collisions, which is based on the nature of our reality. The comparison being — what makes something alive : what makes something good — both are based on arbitrary “foundations” but yet there is some force that drives things away from complete randomness/ relativity.

Anyways that what I have on this for now. Probably will revisit some of these ideas in the future. Hope some of that made sense.

It’s easy to talk about ideas with like-minded individuals. Right now I’m in a class where we have to participate in online discussions. We are graded on posting a discussion and we are graded on responding to two other discussions. I’m not sure if its the topic that people choose to write about, or if it’s just the culture we live in, but the responses are pretty predictable. They are often affirming what the person said or asking some clarifying or expanding question. All of us students elected to take this class so it’s very likely we share similar perspectives, and while that is affirming in some ways, it can be quite boring in others (just for discussion purposes, the class itself is interesting).

Anyways, I was listening to a discussion today about whether or not there is any objectivity in the world, especially with respect to good and bad. I think it’s is important to be challenged; to put your beliefs to the test. I think it’s important to be able to engage in respectful discourse. In this case, both sides strongly maintained their beliefs. While I think genuine debate is valuable, I also think that sometimes disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing can also lead to fruitful outcomes.

My thoughts on objective truths and good vs evil in my next post, I promise.

What really is integrity and what is it worth? My understanding for a long time been has been that integrity is one commitment to their ideals, morals, and values, especially when no one is looking and/ or there is nothing to be gained. Some may have different definitions, but in general it is seen as a overall positive thing.

We all make decisions for our lives based on available information in one way or another. What happens when we are faced with information that works against our own values and morals? Do we change our values or do we deny the information? I feel like some form of the latter is a common choice, at least initially. Is that considered integrity? Of course we have to take into account the source of the information, but if it turns out the overwhelming evidence says the way I have been living my life and the way I understand the world is “wrong” what do I do?

It takes courage to stand by your beliefs in the face of opposition. But is that integrity? It also takes courage to admit you were wrong and it’s important to put your beliefs to the test from time to time to see how they hold up as we gain new information. I think there’s “integrity” in that; in checking yourself for cracks, and in pruning away the excess.

My current understanding of integrity is more of a commitment to myself rather than to my beliefs or my ideals. The question is how much of myself (if any) is tied to those beliefs, and how do I know when it’s time to let some of them go.

“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good.” This was a phrase I heard recently in a podcast. I’ve always considered myself somewhat of a perfectionist; I’m particular about the way I think things should be done and want things to be just right. There’s nothing wrong with being careful and precise, but at a certain point, this becomes somewhat of a detriment. The pursuit of perfection means I don’t hit submit, I don’t press send. In some cases this identity becomes an excuse. In some cases I don’t even get started because I’m waiting for “perfect conditions.” In reality I’m just scared of what might happen next. If I fail, that hurts my pride. If I succeed that builds pressure for the future.

If I can stay somewhere in the middle, perpetually “in-progress,” then I can say “I’m working on it,” without facing the consequences. The problem with that is there is no progress, I’m stuck in developmental purgatory.

Both failure and success result in growth of their own kind. Waiting for perfect results in stagnation. Things don’t need to be perfect in order for them to be good. Perfection (whatever that is) can’t happen over night, and I won’t get there without scraping my knees along the way. I just gotta suck it up and do the work.

Talking about change or asking people to change can be a sensitive issue. Everyone behaves the way they do for a reason, usually based on their life experiences or their values (with a few notable exceptions). I can’t speak for everyone (though experience tells me humans are more alike than we think) but I know if someone directly asks me to change in some way I feel like a part of myself is being rejected. I’m sure that’s not the intention of the other person, but that’s how it can feel.

Being open to change requires vision. Vision to see possible alternatives. I have to be humble enough to believe there is a better way. I have to realize that the suggestion of change (even if ill-advised) in not a rejection of who I am, but a belief in my potential. At least that’s how I should try to see it. That said no matter how receptive to feedback I get, there’s always that little voice whispering the worst. The goal isn’t to get that voice to shut up, its being able to tell the voice why it’s wrong.

I did a report on Alexander Graham Bell back in Junior High. There was a quote that was attributed to him that really struck a chord with me, especially because when I was little I wanted to be an inventor, “The inventor… looks upon the world and is not contented with things as they are. He wants to improve whatever he sees, he wants to benefit the world.” This was kinda my mindset for a long time. There’s a lot of messed up stuff going on and humans need to get their shit together.

Where I am now though I can’t help but think about the restlessness of the quote; particularly in “not contented” and “improve whatever he sees.” It can be easy to get caught up in the fixing part that we forget to stop and appreciate some of the good. And we need to make sure that our “fixes” are backed by evidence and careful science (I’m using the term science here relatively broadly). Kinda harkening back to the book Factfullness, we need to be able to see the good in the world as a model for the future. Action for the sake of action can be wasteful, and wastefulness is the last thing the world needs more of.

I’m not really in the mood to write tonight, but I will anyway ’cause it’s been too long. My lack of motivation isn’t tied to anything one thing in particular, but kinda a bunch of different things. I guess much of it can be linked to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. What’s makes it worse is that I don’t feel like I have a good reason for feeling these things, but yet here they are. It’s not a consistent, all the time thing, and I don’t consider myself depressed (obligatory not-that-there-would-be-anything-wrong-with-that), but when it does happen I end up in a bit of a vicious cycle.

I kinda wanted to expand on what I talked about last post about not getting too caught up in the details. Each person is a collection of their own experiences. How we each are perceived is collections of other people’s experiences of us. You never know what details about you are going to stand out, and maybe that’s why we put so much pressure on ourselves. I want so badly to control how other people see me, but that changes how I act, and thus how people see me. And yet, being someone who wants to control their image, which in-turn affects their behaviors, is part of that person’s identity.

I am both a collection of my experiences and my actions, for better or for worse. I can never truly change from who I once was, I can only add to that collection. In that way, I feel like regret is pointless. All those experiences and actions make-up who I am now, with the mindset I have now, and the perspective I have now. To change any of that would be to change who I am in the present, but I kinda like who I am. Plus even if I wanted to, I couldn’t change any of it, I can learn from it though, but that’s still just adding to the collection.

We’ve all experience the frustration of thinking of the perfect comeback or response after the opportunity to use it has passed. Can’t think of how many times I thought of something “better” to say right after I hit send. I may dwell on it for a bit, maybe hours, maybe days, but those moments are barely blips in my memory now and probably even less in the minds of those I’m talking to. I am the type of person to fuss over small details which actually have little significance in the bigger picture. Don’t get me wrong, I still think details are important, but I’m trying to be better at determining which details actually matter. The specific words I use often are not as important as the message as a whole, and so choosing the exact right word between two synonyms may not worth the time (unless I’m writing a poem).

With limited bandwidth, I gotta choose to spend it on things that actually matter.