Sometimes I wonder if it’s a test. Today after clinic we went to the hospital to check on a patient in labor. Looked like it was going to be while, so my attending suggested I go home and he’ll call me when it’s time to deliver. I agree and then hours later nothing. Then I find out the delivery is over. This isn’t the first time this has happened as you may know if you’ve been reading these. So I wonder sometimes if he’s testing me to see if I would stick around to wait for the delivery. I’m pretty sure he went to the gym or something after he sent me home, so maybe it’s all in my head. Or other stuff happens where I’m like maybe I’m supposed to assert myself more. Anyways when I left the hospital, I emphasized with him to call me or at least text because I really wanted to be there. Nada. Next time for sure though I’m just going to hang around and wait ’cause that’s probably the only way I’ll get to see more stuff. Or maybe he doesn’t have confidence in me and doesn’t want me to be there. That’s also a concern that crosses my mind.
Whatever the case, I won’t let it stop me, just gotta keep on pushing to get more experience, and maybe try to spend a bit more of my downtime preparing for the big stuff.
Today for dinner I had some adobo that Mom brought when they visited last weekend. It was very good and a much-needed taste of home.