If you are one of the few who actively reads the nonsense I write here, you’ll notice that I’ll occasionally have streaks of posts, followed by streaks of silence, with a sprinkling of single posts in-between. My ideal is to write, publish, and post something on here every day, but clearly I have not been holding myself to that. It’s not because I don’t always have something to write about. Consistently, the thing that holds me back is the feeling that people who do see this, or who simply see that I’m posting again won’t understand what I’m trying to do or say. If I just made this a private journal for my eyes only, there wouldn’t be any of that resistance. Sure that resistance is manufactured by my own mind, but that doesn’t make it any less real.
I write because I enjoy it. I post it publicly because I hope people will think about it or engage with it. But I’m also scared about how it shapes people’s perception of me, especially since that’s completely out of my control. At the same time, knowing that it’s out of my hands also puts me at ease in a way, and eventually my desire to follow-through on my (personal) word prevails. That said it always helps to get support and motivation from the community.
So if you are reading this an you wanna help me out let me know if anything I write provokes any thoughts. If you think I should write more about certain topics let me know. Hold me accountable. You don’t have to like what I post, but if you for some reason realize I haven’t posted on a day, bug me to do it. I would really appreciate it. Much love.