My fear

I’ve put off sharing this blog with…well anyone (except for a few and you know who you are), mostly because by sharing it, other people might know what/ how I think (gasp). And if they know how I think, they can and will judge me based on that. This fear has overridden any confidence I’ve had that there is any value in what I’ve written and any desire I’ve had to connect with people through sharing and discussing ideas.

I’m afraid people will think that some of what I written is pathetic, or cringey, or stupid. I’m afraid that nobody will read it or nobody will be interested. I’m afraid that everyone will read it, putting me at the mercy of their judgement. I’m afraid that people will mistake my sharing of opinions with arrogance. I’m afraid not just of failure (whatever that means in this case), but of acknowledging that both failure and success come from trying and from pressing send. And I’m afraid of how much more common failure is than success.

When Han Solo said “Never tell me the odds,” that wasn’t arrogance, but rather a suppression of the fear (C-3PO) that was telling him not to do it (ok, maybe it wasn’t meant to be an eccentric commentary on fear, but just go along with it). While I am not facing a violent demise at the hands of flying space rocks, I consider living in this fear an equally tragic fate…and so here we are.

So with all that said, feel free to browse old posts and stay up-to-date on the new ones. If you do read any of this, or even got this far on this post, I hope you get something out of it and, please, if you have any thoughts at all on anything I write I would love to hear them, ideally through writing them directly on the post, so others can enjoy them, or by contacting me some other way if that makes you more comfortable. And if you do think any/ all of it is stupid or arrogant, or you disagree, or if you simply have nothing to say, that is just as valid, and I encourage you to express that or call me out (or not, it’s up to you).

I’m not gonna lie, I really hope you like what you find here, but if you don’t, I get the opportunity to get over it and to not take it personally.

Now what are you afraid of?

2 thoughts on “My fear”

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