Author: nanimov

I ended my Amazon Prime membership at the end of last year because I wasn’t getting the student discount anymore. The first package I ordered in 2019 took foreeeever. But it didn’t really take that long, just long relative to what I became used to. That goes for a lot of things. Just because I want something really badly doesn’t mean I can get it in two days guaranteed. We are in a time where almost anything we want is on-demand, delivered to your door or at your fingertips. But not everything can be expedited using technology, money, or sheer willpower. Somethings take time. Don’t rush, be patient others, and be patient with yourself.

I love when rain is falling while the sun is shining in a bright blue sky. It’s like a wombo combo of good stuff… the stuff of life. You got water, you got sunshine. The plants must love it too; they’re getting everything they need to grow at once. I wonder what the equivalent would be for me.

If you’re doing something most people aren’t there a good chance your ahead of your time or behind it. Is your work innovative and moving us forward? Or is it clinging on to a world that once was? In both cases you face resistance from individuals, society, technology, culture etc. The question is whether you should push through or change.

When I was in Resident Advisor training, one of the things we talked about for social and cultural sensitivity was owning your impact. Meaning regardless of what your intentions are, your words affect others in different ways, and if you unintentionally offend someone you should acknowledge that and take responsibility for it. While I do endorse this philosophy I think the reverse is also important. If someone says something that offends us we should assume their intentions were not malicious and try not to take it personally. We should try to recognize that our own perspective and experiences determine what offends us and not everyone shares those experiences. I’m not blaming the offendee or defending the offender (or vice versa), I just think it’s always best to seek understanding if nothing else.

I am usually most motivated and most focused on a project when it’s onset it somewhat spontaneous. That spontaneity and novelty is part of what makes certain projects exciting. How can I capture that feeling for the long term? Is it possible to create or plan spontaneity? I guess there’s a balance here like with anything. I need to plan and make time for working on different project, but not to the point where it feels like an obligation. But if I don’t make it an obligation will it ever get done? I guess if it’s important enough to me. It’s interesting how averse we can be to being told what to do and when to do it and how that affect our choices.

I used to think that there is a time and place for anger; that if used properly it can be a powerful rhetorical tool. The more I see it used, the less I believe that to be true. Anger almost never (I say ‘almost’ because only a Sith deals in absolutes) has a place in a strong argument. If you want someone to see things from your perspective, getting angry severely limits their ability to do so unless they also feel the same anger, at which point you have likely entered an echo chamber. I feel like anger is often mistaken for passion. Just because someone says something loudly and has a target for their ire doesn’t mean that what they have to say is meaningful or well thought-out. On the other hand, you can say something extremely intelligent and well thought-out, but if sad loudly and in anger you may not reach the people who need to hear you most.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t feel anger or that feeling anger is bad. Anger is a very real emotion and should be acknowledged. We can’t help when we feel it and sometimes we let it control our actions and our words, but I think it’s important that when we do get angry that we can identify what we’re angry with, why we’re angry with it, and what we plan to do about it. That last bit being the most important and also maybe the hardest to determine.

Thoughts?

It’s interesting how much better my body feels when I am not constantly eating copious amounts of meat. My face is clearer, poops are more satisfying, and my tummy is happy. I would stop eating meat entirely if it just didn’t taste so damn good. There are some vegetarian and vegan restaurants out there that have made me think that if all restaurants made plants and stuff taste that good I could easily make the switch, but there are also some that have nearly turned me off completely to the idea of vegetarianism. When I go to new (non-veg) restaurants there are always so many things that I want to try, most of which have meat, and also if I don’t get something with meat in it I feel like I’m wasting my restaurant trip. So for now I’m sticking with reduced meat intake. For those of you out there who are vegetarian or vegan, how did you get started and what keeps you going?

I’ve been having good conversations with Mom recently. We’ve been talking about topics that I once thought were awkward or taboo (and perhaps they were at one point). One of those topics being faith and religion. I grew up Catholic and I consider my Catholic upbringing a huge part of my identity and I attribute my orientation towards compassion and service largely to that upbringing. At one point I was very much involved in the happenings of the church and I was very serious about my faith. Now, not so much.

Yesterday, as we were getting lunch, she asked me, “Have you lost faith?” While I was surprised at the setting during which she asked the question I wasn’t surprised at the question itself. I’m not here to write about the when, why, and how of my beliefs (maybe another time, or reach out to me and let’s talk), but just that we got into a lengthy conversation about faith, religion, morality, etc. This type of talk would have been so uncomfortable 5+ years ago, but now it just felt natural.

I love and appreciate you Mom and I’m glad that we can have open conversations like this.

Sometimes in pool when there’s no obvious next move, your next move is just to set yourself up for the next next move. But I’m not the best at pool.

I’m feeling pretty energized by my work with Doctors Without Walls. Today at the clinic we had a couple new volunteers shadowing. I remember being in their shoes over a year ago. In my time with DWW I’ve learned so much and I enjoy being able to share some of that with the next generation of volunteers. That in addition to some pretty good success with a few clients, has me feeling good and I want to try to maintain that energy for the future and whatever comes next.